What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Have you ever seen a woman having sex with a dog?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

{RING} {RING}

Why are liberals so bad at grasping alternative facts? For example, if something doesn’t happen the exact same way Trump described it, liberals dismiss it as false; while conservatives are able to fully understand the underlying principle.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Is visiting holy shrines (dargahs) or graves haraam in Islam?

After a few moments he returns.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

HELLO

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

Sure no problem officer.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

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Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?